I let you in after 5 years being alone.
I told you details about my past I’ve never told anyone.
You knew how much I struggled with the pain I’ve gone through.
But, like everyone else I’ve ever let in, you betrayed my trust.
You cheated. You lied. You stole.
After spending months accusing me of doing the things you were hiding, you got caught.
Why. Does. This. Always. Happen. To. Me.?
I shut down under pressure. I lock the world out of my bubble. I forget the realizations that made my mind want to shut down. I escape. For a day, at least. When I return I will appear quieter at first but unscathed otherwise. Everyone will still want answers to questions I’ve since forgotten. They won’t find them through me because I will be back in my fantasy world, drowning out all the stress with whatever I can find to make it go away. I’ll apologize for things I didn’t do, just to appease those in control. Maybe next time I won’t shut down and I’ll finally do what has to be done to end the suffering. That is if I can remember what needs to be done.